all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I need moral support for this bender
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize