This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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