The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
