So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize