Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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