so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
