I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So vagazzling was a success
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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