The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
