Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize