Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
