there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
