you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
