could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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