SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
