If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
