Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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