I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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