mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
