Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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