I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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