Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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