I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
