But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Never underestimate the power of titties
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
