Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
