She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
