Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
