My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
