I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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