1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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