meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
