Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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