On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
