Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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