we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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