I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
