Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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