Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
