dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
