he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
