I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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