as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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