can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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