He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i out mim tonsoeep
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