What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
