guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize