I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
