I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
