He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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