I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
