Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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