you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
