Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
