Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.

(518): View more from New York

Huh?

(917): View more from New York City

I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.

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(415): View more from California

Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me

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(503): View more from Oregon

THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT

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(925): View more from California

The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.

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