haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i permit you to call me
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
