So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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