She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
