omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
