Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
