She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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