My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
