I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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