He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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