Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
