She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
