Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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