Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
