We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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