I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
