btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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